Blog Coping with Sibling Rivalry

March 15, 2020by admin0

If you are a parent of two or more kids, chances are you spend a large part of the day acting as a peacemaker.  The shift can happen within seconds – there you are, enjoying your evening tea while your kids play together with their toys, and the next minute they are at each other’s throat.

All parents dream of a perfect relationship among their kids, but disagreements between growing children are inevitable. Children often fight to get attention from the parents, establish themselves as the alpha, connect with their sibling, or become the ‘favoured child’.

Sibling rivalry is a natural part of growing up. But to ensure that children overcome their dislike for each other as they grow up, here are some tips to ensure that they eventually form a healthy bond.

Source: Fowl Language Comics

Different Forms of Sibling Rivalry

To cope with sibling rivalry, it is first important to understand the different forms in which it manifests itself. Children often provoke one another with:

  • Name-calling
  • Using/ hiding/ breaking something that belongs to the other one
  • Arguing
  • Mimicking
  • Reading their text messages/photos on the phone
  • Eavesdropping on their conversations with friends
  • Tattling
  • Hitting/throwing something at the other one

How to Manage Conflicts

Here are 6 ways to handle the growing tension between your kids:

Don’t compare your children: Avoid pointing out your children’s differences in front of them. They can interpret that as criticism and may feel unappreciated.

Establish a hands-off policy: Make sure your children are aware that you will not stand for any violence between them. Establish a punishment and reward policy. Reward/praise your children when they solve their arguments peacefully.

Give space to your children: Ensure that each kid has his/her personal space in the house. This will ensure that they don’t fight over privacy issues or sharing common-property.

Don’t put a child in charge: Birth order is one of the main reasons for sibling rivalry. When you put the eldest in charge in your absence, the younger sibling is naturally jealous. Ensure that you treat them as equals.

Teach them to talk it out: Conflict resolution is an invaluable tool that you can teach your children. You will have to be there for them and walk them through the whole process when they are young. Eventually, they will be able to resolve their conflicts on their own.

Don’t punish one child in front of the other: When you need to punish or scold your child, do it alone in a private place. If you scold them in front of the other sibling, they can be teased.

In Extreme Cases

There have been several cases in the past where sibling rivalry has reached such extremes that children refuse to stay in each other’s presence. When forced to be friends with their siblings, children often drift apart from their parents as they feel misunderstood and alone. This can lead to violent, aggressive behaviour, and depression in kids.

Join Renaé to tackle sibling rivalry in your children, and nip the problem in the bud. With our SleepTalk program, we can help your children develop a strong relationship with each other. It is a process that shapes the subconscious mind of your child while they are asleep, but becomes their reality when they wake up. The program will not only help your children bond but will help them achieve their full potential without letting stress affect them. The program builds and encourages self-esteem among children, and helps them become true leaders at work with strong relationships at home.


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